This is a lyrical short memoir that manages to be touching without being overly sentimental. We found the mix of direct scene and reflection effective.
We offer one suggestion. Imagine what one small change could do: Remove the "would" 's from the recollected scenes and the piece becomes more immediate. Language such as "my grandfather would roll it back and forth" becomes "he rolled it." The scene happens in a particular place at a particular time rather than many more general times in the past; with this change, we thought the piece would have been even more evocative and close.
Read “The Bread of Life,” by Allan Richards
We offer one suggestion. Imagine what one small change could do: Remove the "would" 's from the recollected scenes and the piece becomes more immediate. Language such as "my grandfather would roll it back and forth" becomes "he rolled it." The scene happens in a particular place at a particular time rather than many more general times in the past; with this change, we thought the piece would have been even more evocative and close.
Read “The Bread of Life,” by Allan Richards
