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‘There is no good way to say this’

Author Yiyun Li reconsiders the language of loss. Plus: Drawing the line on ethical AI use

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Dear Storyboard community: 

This week we have a powerful new book chapter annotation from Storyboard contributor Mallary Tenore Tarpley, who spoke with acclaimed author Yiyun Li about her memoir, “Things in Nature Merely Grow,” about the death of her teenage son, James, who died by suicide six years after her older son Vincent died the same way. The book won the 2026 Pulitzer Prize for Memoir or Autobiography. 

When it comes to grieving, we are accustomed to speaking a common language. Li questions all of it, including the word “grief” itself, opting instead for the word “abyss.” 

“Grief has become a convenient word in contemporary culture,” Li tells Tarpley. “People talk about grief or grieving as a process, with stages, with an end point, when a bereaved person ‘gets over’ the loss. All those things sound as though they bring hope but they are really dire for those bereaved, as they are constantly facing the demand from others to get over and to get to the finish line of grieving. 

“Abyss to me is more natural a description. It’s not dire. The key is how to live in an abyss.”

Our deepest thanks to Li and Tarpley for sharing this story with us. 

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If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call, text or chat with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

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Yiyun Li. Photo by Hannah Yoon.
Yiyun Li. Photo by Hannah Yoon.

“This book will not provide a neat narrative arc, which some readers may hanker for: from hardship to triumph, from incomprehension to newly gained perception and wisdom, from suffering to transcendence. This book will not provide the easy satisfaction of fulfillment, inspiration, and transformation.”

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Keep connecting with your community, and keep sharing your stories,

Mark Armstrong
Editor
Nieman Storyboard
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